Living Beyond Fear-Part II
(A pep talk: from one writer to another)
by Gina Capristo-Gajdosik
There is an epidemic of fear in the modern world, so pervasive it touches every single moment of our lives; our physical and inner life, our decisions and our actions. Unaware that fear is not our friend, we are driven by it and because of that, our soul is constantly attracting our fears to us, instead of keeping us safe. The truth is, nothing can truly harm you, not the real you. The REAL YOU is spirit, Eternal. I’ve come to this truth after realizing how much I have deceived myself by avoiding pain or fear or disappointment. Humiliation is so undesirable that it is far more horrible than even physical pain to most humans. So strong is our desire to be liked and VALIDATED that we will actually think worse of ourselves than those who have hurt us. It stops us from taking action, from writing that next, great screenplay or hearing the truth. It keeps us from reaching out and exposing our true feelings.
In 2012, I was nearly fatally injured as I was walking home on my own street, on a dark, moonless night. I dropped my phone and when I moved to pick it up, I stumbled in a rut in the road and fell onto a very sharp, metal fence. I punctured my right arm, just above the elbow and also my left cheek. There was blood everywhere. I thought, “OK, so, this is what dying is like.” I was horrified, yet still I felt a strong surge of adrenaline and even though I was in excruciating pain, I was conscious of being somewhere else, but where? My mind seemed to separate from my body (a common experience as it seems) and it was as if I was watching myself.
Yet, it was less frightening then being ridiculed or rejected. I often think I would rather die than be humiliated, (I obviously have a highly flawed and irrational fear of embarrassment.) But that fear creeps in for us writers every time we write something new. How do we survive day after day? We get by because we rely on our addictions to soothe our fears. Don’t think you have addictions? Be honest with yourself…every single human being has at least a few addictions that soothe them from life’s harshness. It could be wine or cigarettes but it can also be people, watching the tube until 3:00AM, working out all the time; anything that takes you out of your FEELINGS. You may feel good for a short time but fear will always be there, lurking in the shadows. Only when our desires become larger than our fears, will we have won the battle for true, personal freedom. Personal freedom requires a sense of purpose and a sense of purpose helps us get up every morning.
If you are a writer, please write that next, great novel, teen book, screenplay or mini-series. Put yourself out there and face your fear of rejection. The world needs you. We all need you!